“Where do we begin to understand ourselves? Here am i, and how am i to study myself, observe myself, see what is actually taking place inside myself? i can observe myself only in relationship because all life is relationship. I cannot exist by myself. i exist only in relationship to people, things and ideas and in studying my relationship to outward things and people, as well as to inward things, i began to understand myself. Every other form of understanding is merely an abstraction and i cannot study myself in abstraction; i am not an abstract entity; therefore i have to study myself in actuality.” - Krishnamurti
The key to understanding ourselves lies in examining our relationships, because 'all life is relationship.' Relating is the interaction and bonds we form, both with the entities in the external world and with our inner thoughts, emotions, and sensations. We are never truly isolated beings; we are constantly in relationship with everything around us – people, objects, ideas, and our own internal thoughts and feelings. By nature, humans are relational beings, continually engaging with everything in their lives. This is expressed through how we interact with others, how we respond to events, objects, and our inner world. Relating encompasses not only interactions with others but also the bonds we form with our environment, ideas, and our inner world. Through the process of relating, individuals begin to understand themselves, recognize others, and experience life. By observing how we interact, we gain awareness of our behaviors, motivations, and deeper patterns.
Krishnamurti emphasizes that understanding ourselves requires examining both our external relationships (with people and objects) and our internal relationships (with our emotions, thoughts, and inner world). By carefully observing how we respond to our surroundings and how we relate to our inner experiences, we begin to unravel ourselves. We can genuinely understand ourselves by observing the daily acts, thoughts, emotions, and relationships inherent to being human. This approach requires an intention to see things as they are, with attention, honesty, and without judgments or preconceptions. It involves fully noticing what is happening both inside and outside in the present moment. Observing directly without the filter of prejudgments allows us a pure and true form of learning about ourselves.
Krishnamurti stresses that genuine self-understanding does not come through thought or theory; it emerges through direct and moment-by-moment engagement with life. By saying 'all of life is relationship,' he implies that every moment of existence is relational – whether or not we are aware of it.
Understanding ourselves intellectually or theoretically is limited. An understanding of ourselves that is disconnected from experience – for example, thinking of ourselves in terms of concepts or generalizations – does not give us true insight. Since we are not 'abstract entities,' attempting to examine ourselves through abstractions or ideologies can lead to incomplete or distorted understanding. Krishnamurti expresses that self-examination must be rooted in 'reality' – the concrete, lived experience of being human. He suggests that rather than understanding ourselves through abstract concepts and theories, we should experience life as it flows. In this way, the process of understanding becomes not an intellectual conclusion but an experiential and dynamic process. Krishnamurti’s perspective conveys that knowing oneself is an ever-evolving part of life, requiring us to remain in touch with ourselves amidst life’s ongoing flow.
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